disapproving kitty

Sunday, December 2, 2012

If You Want it Hidden Forever, Put it in the Bag by the Sewing Machine

So I'm making an attempt here to try Holidalies, and committing to posting something on this blog every day for the month of December.
I'm a day late in signing up for it, because, well I'm really good at procrastination.  It's one of my best skills.  I find that procrastinating can often just make a lot of problems go away.  You know those 3T jeans with the big rip in the knee from when the child wearing them chose to skid across the pavement?  They're still sitting by the sewing machine, in a bag, waiting to be repaired.  The child in question now wears size 6, and his little sister is heading into 4s as I write this.  Problem fixed!  All I have to do now is put them in the giant pile of stuff for Goodwill, or keep telling myself that I could cut them into patches for the next set of jeans that acquire a giant hole.
Truth is, neither of these things will happen.  The jeans will quietly sit in the bag until my kid goes off to college or I hire one of those professional de-clutterers to help me reclaim my house.  I have the number of one, but haven't contacted her yet.
I think you know why.
According to the Holidalies, they'll give you a prompt for each day, and today's (well, yesterday's) was "Introduce yourself."
This is not the most promising of introductions.
I suppose, if you want the real introductory kind of thing, I should state for the record that I'm your basic domestic model mom/wife/career woman with a cluttered house, some weird food allergies and a complete lack of patience with technology.  I've written about this before and was going to link to a previous post about it, but of course I can't find  it now.  Suffice it to say that I need my technology to be just about 100% intuitive and as easy to use at the computers on Star Trek.  Anything less and I just can't be bothered.  Like right now, when the stupid mouse button on the laptop thinks I'm right clicking when I'm not and keeps offering to look things up in Spotlight for me.  I don't even know what Spotlight is, nor do I care*.  I can't get it to happen when I want it to, but it happens all the time when I don't and it's aggravating as sh*t.
This is still not the most promising of introductions.
I don't write about personal stuff, unless it's my own personal stuff that pretty much everyone I know knows about me already, like having weird food allergies and joint pain and issues with getting things done on time.  I try very hard not to write about other people's personal stuff, though I do write about my kids a fair amount.  I usually don't write about marriage, because I worry that people will think I'm writing about my marriage in particular and will start looking at us funny at parties.
I do take liberties with the truth upon occasions.  I wrote once about not having capers and soon after two people bought me capers to put into my fridge.  They are still there, along with the bottle I had when I wrote the post.  Sometimes the truth just doesn't capture the moment the way a little embellishment does.
Welcome to my blog.
I hope you'll come back and read it again.
And if you're in the market for a bagful of clothes that need reapairing, just let me know.  I'll mail it to you.....when I get around to it.

*I really don't.  However, if you'd like to tell me how to get it to stop effing right clicking, though, that'd be appreciated.  But please don't tell me, "Hey!  Click on the left!"  Because I tried that. (despite the whole procrastination thing, I'm not actually a moron.)  In fact it has no bearing whatsoever where I click on the little mouse bar.  Purposefully clicking on the right has no effect and does not bring up the annoying little menu.  It only happens when I don't want it to.

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